


it's burning down, i gotta drown this out

by thecourageofstars



Category: Emerald City (TV 2016)
Genre: 1x07, F/M, ec drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 19:05:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9780896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecourageofstars/pseuds/thecourageofstars
Summary: You're not sure what you were thinking: surely the girl who had been given away by her own mother and had literally fallen from the sky in a mysterious land would know better than to get too attached to anyone.Yet here you are.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Gravity", by Eden

Glinda and Lucas kiss and something in your chest splinters. 

Sylvie grips your hand tightly, unwittingly anchoring you to reality and suddenly the stark whiteness, the coldness, sheer feeling displacement of the room threatens to overwhelm you. It’s white noise, it’s dizzying, it’s mind-boggling and then Roan (Lucas, it will always be Lucas) is looking back at you and everything settles back into place in horrifying clarity. 

You don’t belong here. 

Sylvie is not your daughter. 

Roan is not your boyfriend, and Lucas never truly existed. 

(For a day it had almost been true. You’d had it and the moment you’d lost it you realized how much you wanted it back) 

You were never meant to exist here anyway. 

(Forget Lucas, forget Sylvie, forget Toto, the witches, the wizard, all of them. Forget the farmhouse and the feel of Lucas’ heartbeat under your palm, his laugh, and chapped kisses, forget Sylvie’s shy smile and the color of her eyes in the morning sunshine; drown it all in bitterness and bleach and watch it drain away from your mind until there is nothing else but you and the void) 

You belong in Kansas. 

You belong in a battered truck, driving down battered dirt roads in the late morning dusk. You belong rushing down hospital halls and gossiping with the other nurses. You belong in Aunt Em’s kitchen commiserating over fresh coffee while Uncle Owen hums to himself and throws in the odd comment when you complain about the hospital’s bureaucracy. The homesickness makes it better and worse when you give Sylvie a tight hug and kiss the crown of her head. She still smells like farmhouse. 

“Goodbye, Sylvie.” You can barely get the words out, a thick lump lodged in your throat. 

“Will I see you again?” she whispers, and you mean to say no, you really do, but you say, “I don’t know,” and you’re not sure if that might be more pathetic. Hadn’t you promised not to make your mother’s worst mistake? You look up, and Roan looks at you like he knows what you’re thinking, and he's damning you for it. Memory or not, he would have never left her. Never mind that he hadn't wanted to help Sylvie at first, never mind that until a few moments ago, he didn't know that he had anyone to miss. Or maybe that's the bitterness talking, you're not sure. Nonetheless, there is a coldness in his eyes that _your_ Lucas could have never managed. Whatever had started to splinter in your chest finally gives way.

It’s just as well. 

You never belonged here anyway. 

(Anything else would be unthinkable.)

**Author's Note:**

> Will take prompts on Tumblr under to-kratisto or in the comments if anyone is interested, bc I need more of these two in my life. Comment to make my day!


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